Sixteen: Yes
When Taylor dropped me off Friday evening, after his parents returned and paid me, we made it official. I told him it felt silly to sit there and say, yes I will be your girlfriend, but he insisted it would bring piece of mind to him. So I obliged, handed my heart over to him, and kissed him goodbye. It felt strange, to walk into my house where my mother was sprawled across the couch with a cigarette in her hand watching television, and know that I no longer had to lie to her about Taylor. He really was… my boyfriend. I spoke the words quietly as I pushed open the front door, testing them out on in my mouth and liking them.
“That was really stupid of you to take my car when I got home,” I spat at my mother. She ignored me. “I had to call Taylor to get a ride to babysitting after he gave me the car so I could drive myself.”
I sighed and stepped in front of the television so she would listen to me. “He told me to tell you that he paid for that car and that insurance, and he doesn’t want you to lay a finger on it ever again.” He hadn’t exactly said that, but he had implied it.
“You are so selfish, Gabrielle!” My mother said, finally looking up at me. I looked up at her red, swollen eyes as she took another puff from her cigarette. “You walk in here and berate me without even questioning how I might be! While you prance around town with your famous boyfriend while he buys you expensive clothes and cars and… while you’re out being a gold digger I’m laying here in tears because Brad left! And you still have the nerve to walk into this house and accuse me!”
I stood there completely unknowing of what to say. A part of me was thrilled beyond belief that Brad, and therefore Bobby, was gone, although it was only a matter of time until they were back. A small part of me, although I don’t know why, actually felt sorry for the miserable wreck laying on the couch.
“I have nothing left!” My mother let go of herself, dropping her cigarette into an ashtray on the table next to her and letting out a heavy sob. This was the usual routine when a man left her. I knew it well. “He just upped and left! Said that he’s sick of me! Sick of me, Gabrielle!”
I sighed and sat down next to her. “Are you drunk…?”
“Of course I’m drunk,” she said through tears. “What else am I supposed to do when the love of my life leaves me! What else do you expect me to do Gabby!?” She said, using my childhood nickname that I had grown out of years earlier.
“He’s not the love of your life,” I sighed. They were always supposedly the love of her lives. My mom meets “Mr. Right” at least a few times a year. “He’s a jerk. And it’s a good thing he’s gone because he was eating our food and his son was a pain in the ass.”
“My heart is scattered in little pieces…” My mom choked, dropping her head into a cushion on the couch and letting out a miserable moan. I hated having to comfort the woman I hated, and yet I felt a responsibility to. I couldn’t remember when it was exactly that I became the adult and she became the child, but I think I must have been in middle school.
“We’re better off without him…”
“No!” My mother cried, a sob choking her cry and sending a rush of tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m so lonely, Gabby. I’m so lonely. I don’t have a daughter and I don’t have a man… I don’t have anything.”
You chose not to have a daughter a long time ago, I thought.
“You have a daughter,” I coaxed. “I’m right here,” I said, patting her leg and sighing to myself. I was not in the mood to be my mother’s babysitter. I wanted to go in my bedroom and draw hearts around Taylor’s name for a few hours.
“Gabrielle,” she uttered, sitting up and looking at me, wiping at her face streaked with grey tears. “Stay and watch Wizard of Oz with me…”
I looked at Dorothy stepping onto the yellow brick road on the television before us and sighed. My mother always watched The Wizard of Oz when she lost a man. I have no clue why, but I cannot remember a time when she didn’t. I’d spent many nights as a child sitting next to my drunk, miserable mother, who usually passed out by the time Dorothy got the Emerald City. She never seemed to care either that I hated the movie, and the wicked witch always gave me nightmares.
“You know I will,” I sighed as I sank down into the couch, preparing myself for a long night.
*****I called Diana Hanson as soon as I woke up on Saturday afternoon. I’d been up until 3 a.m. watching the movie with my mom and helping her drag herself to bed, so I didn’t call until noon. To my annoyance, Taylor picked up the phone. It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy to talk to him, it was just that I knew he’d feel offended when I said I was looking to speak to his mom- not him.
“You missed me so much you had to call me as soon as you woke up?” He gloated.
I rolled my eyes. “Something like that. Can I talk to your mom?”
I could tell the wheels were turning in his head. “Oh. You didn’t call for me?”
“No, I want to speak to your mom.”
“What about?”
“Taylor!”
“Okay, okay… I won’t be nosy,” he huffed. “Although she’ll just tell me when you get off the phone anyway.”
“Tay.”
“I’m looking for her. I’m walking upstairs… looking in the laundry room… hmmm not in there. Okay, now I’m walking back downstairs. She might have went outside. Okay, so I’m walking outside… is she by the pool? Nope. I can’t see her outside by the pool… let me walk over to the garage… okay I’m walking across the driveway towards the garage… looking for her, looking for her…”
“Taylor!”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
I grinned at his innocent, clueless attitude about his habit of rambling. My favorite was when he complained to me about his older brother being a classic rambler. If only he knew how much I adored his quirks, but I would never let it on.
“I found her. She’s outside watching Zoe ride Avery’s old training wheel bike. Want me to give her the phone?”
“That would be helpful,” I grinned.
“Okay. Say something sweet to me before I hand over the phone.”
“Tay! Is your mom standing right there?”
“Yes. So say something quick or I’m going to make a bigger deal of this.”
I shook my head at his stupid games that deep down I loved, flopping down on my back on my bed and studying my ceiling. What to say, what to say…
“Taylor Hanson, you are so sexy.”
He laughed. “I like that, but that’s more sexual than sweet.”
I groaned into the phone. He was not going to make life easy for me. Why did I like him again?
“Was that a sexual noise too?”
“Taylor Hanson, you stop right now if your mother is standing right there.”
He laughed loudly, “Okay, say something sweet and I’ll give her the phone.”
“I think you’re wonderful and I adore you. Now can you just give her the phone?”
“Awww,” he cooed in a mocking voice. “I adore you too, baby,” he snorted. “I’ll pick you up at seven tonight. We’re hanging out since you’re not babysitting and it’s Saturday.”
“But!”
“Here’s my mom!” He grinned.
I had no excuse not to. In fact, I wanted to hang out with him badly. But I was just so used to arguing, I couldn’t just agree so readily. He knew better than to even entertain my arguments though.
“Hi sweetie, this is Diana.”
“Hi Diana,” I said, swallowing and hoping she didn’t listen to too much of Taylor and my conversation. “I was calling because I wanted to speak to you in person soon.”
“You know, I think that’s a perfect idea! I wanted to speak to you too!”
Oh no… She knew. She was going to fire me before I could even quit. She must have thought I was going behind her back with Taylor.
“Okay… so maybe I can come by tonight and…”
“I have a better idea,” she interrupted. “Could you meet me for lunch?”
“Lunch? Sure… where? When? Can you tell Taylor he can’t come?”
She laughed into the phone and gave me details. It was decided. I would most likely be fired from my ideal job that afternoon at 1 pm at Ruby Tuesday. I just hoped Taylor was worth it.
I waited nervously on a bench inside of Ruby Tuesday, watching out the door for Diana to show up. She was 15 minutes late when she finally did frantically pull her Suburban into a parking spot and rush for the door. I figured it had been hard getting out the door with all the kids.
“I’m sorry!” she announced, wrapping me into a hug when I greeted her at the door. “I had to put Zoe down for a nap, and explain to Zac how I wanted him to organize the attic… and he was not making life any easier let me tell you.”
“Zac’s organizing the attic…?”
She laughed as we walked over to the podium, gestured “two” and followed the host to our seat. “Not by choice. He was getting on my nerves all morning whining and complaining because I asked him to go upstairs and get me a box from the attic, so finally I told him guess what buddy? You can organize it all for me,” she smiled. “Every spring I pray for a whiney child that I can torture with that chore. Otherwise my boxes wouldn’t be organized and I would never be able to find anything. Taylor begged to come, as you thought he would, but I told him it was just us girls. I left him sulking in the living room watching the kids. He was not happy with me.”
I laughed and sat down next to her, but my uneasiness was evident in my tone. It wasn’t everyday I sat down with Diana Hanson for lunch by myself. She was acting pretty friendly considering she was probably about to fire me, but I figured it was just her naturally loving manner. She must have figured now that I was dating Taylor she was stuck with me anyway, just in a different way.
After the waitress took our orders and brought our drinks she clasped her hands in front of her on the table and wet her lips to begin talking. “So. What did you want to talk to me about?”
Diana Hanson is a merciful woman. She was going to give me the chance to quit before I could be fired. Although I should have been thankful, I felt guilty. If she had fired me I wouldn’t have felt so bad about giving up the job she had so kindly given me a month earlier.
“Yeah…” I started. “I guess there’s no other way to say this. I tried really hard to… stay just friends with Taylor.” I fumbled with my straw wrapper to avoid having to look at her, but as a mother of seven she shamelessly looked right at me as I spoke, unable to let me escape what I was trying to say. “I had every intention of just being friends with him… but somehow it just worked out that… that we have something more going on. We decided on it last night, and I wanted to let you know as soon as possible since I know where you stand on this.”
She nodded sadly. “Taylor told me, but I appreciate your upfront honesty. I can confidently say I have never seen my son so happy. He’s whistling when I ask him to do chores and skipping down the stairs for breakfast. I don’t disagree with your decision at all.”
“I’m really sorry you’re going to have to look for a new babysitter…”
She waved me off. “Gabrielle, you’ve proved that you’re the best babysitter we can find regardless of whether or not you’re dating my son. I truthfully trust that you will be responsible with my family regardless of what happens between you and Taylor. You put your values first. I recognize that.”
“You’re not… firing me?”
She laughed. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something very important. And I want you to think about it before you go shouting at me and telling me off like Taylor warned me you would.”
I blushed. “I wouldn’t tell you off.”
“Gabrielle, what do you think of being a full-time nanny for us?”
I sat there staring at her completely stunned.
What?
“The kids are just getting so much more to handle the older they get. The boys aren’t making it any easier on me as they’re all still living at home and completely unhelpful… Walker’s always dealing with the record company. I need more permanent help, and you’re my first choice.”
“You’re not firing me… but… promoting me?”
She laughed. “I guess you could say that. Gabrielle, what would you think of moving into our house?”
I shook my head immediately.
“Don’t refuse yet!” She snapped, smiling though. “Listen to me for a second. I want you to think about it and if you don’t want to do it because you don’t want to live at our house, or you don’t want to leave your mom, or you don’t want the extra responsibility, then I understand. But I am not asking you because I pity you. I have to admit, and I’m going to be honest with you Gabrielle, I haven’t heard the best things about your home. But my reason for asking you mostly has to do with the fact that I would like your help, and I’d simply like to have you living at our house.”
My head felt like it was spinning. How was this happening? Just over a month ago I was sitting on my front porch minding my own business when haughty Taylor Hanson walked into my life in his designer jeans and dark sunglasses! How was everything happening so fast? What had I done to deserve a wonderful boyfriend, a family who was wanted me around… what had I done to deserve all this saving grace? I don’t think I was offended by her offer, for once, as she phrased in a way that the Hanson’s eventually began to refer to as “Gabrielle-friendly.” Anytime they thought I needed something from then, they made it sound like they needed something from me. I wasn’t exactly thrilled or excited by her offer because I didn’t fully believe it, nor did I let myself get excited.
“This is such a big deal…” I mumbled.
“I know,” Diana nodded. “That’s why I completely understand that you’re going to need time to think about it and-”
“Yes.”
The word flew out my mouth without it even registering to me that I was talking.
“What?” She asked, puzzled.
“I…” Had I really said yes? “Diana… I don’t want to think about this. If I think about it I’ll convince myself of 101 reasons why I shouldn’t. But I want to… I want to move in.”
A grin spread across her face and she reached across the table and squeezed my hand.
“The moment I walked into your house with Taylor the first day, I looked around and saw the exact environment I wanted to be surrounded by for the rest of my life. Nice people, family, good food, water that doesn’t suddenly just turn off because someone forgot to pay the bill… your home and your family… Diana, I’m just going to be frank. It’s my dream life. And I would be foolish to turn it down. There’s a reason Taylor showed up in my neighborhood. I’m not going to let pride get in the way of my happiness. If you all really want me to live with you, then I want to be there more than anything.”
She smiled. “Taylor warned me that you’d fight it even more than this. He told me to be persistent… to insist it was the right choice.”
“I’ve learned a lot from Taylor,” I admitted. “More than just what hair spray gives you the most volume and what lotion leaves your skin baby soft.”
She laughed, reflecting on her son’s obsessive grooming habits.
“Sometimes you don’t always need to have your guard up.”
She smiled. Diana explained that I could move in as soon as possible, and she preferred to talk to my mom before I moved, but in the end it was completely my decision since I was finally 18 years old. She admitted that the thought had crossed her mind from the moment I started babysitting, but she hadn’t realized how well I fit in with the family until after a few weeks, and she also wanted to wait until I was old enough to make my own decisions.
She said that I would get the guest room and assured me that I would not be required to work for her past August- when I would hopefully be going to school at OSU. I’d have my own room, although I’d have to share a bathroom, and she expected Taylor and I to handle the living situation appropriately. I blushed but she promised me she trusted me completely, it was just her son she didn’t trust. In return I promised her perfect behavior between Taylor and me.
She explained my official work hours would be from 2:30 when I got home from school and 6:30 when dinner would be cleaned up. I would just need to help the kids with homework, help her with dinner, and basically keep her entertained as she didn’t yet have any teenage daughters to laugh with. She insisted I wouldn’t have anymore chores than her children did and I wouldn’t be responsible for picking up after them, which was a relief considering how messy I’d seen their rooms before. On Wednesday nights I’d still baby sit while she went to her Bible study, and she asked if I could still watch the kids Friday nights as well. Of course, I obliged. Sunday’s she wanted me to help get everyone ready for church, which was her biggest project, and come to church with the family. I suspected it was all a clever plan to evangelize and spread the Bible to me, but I didn’t mind one bit. The Hanson’s had good intentions. They were, hands down, the most generous family I had ever met. She said that somehow the hours all added up to about 35 a week, and that she hoped I would just consider that full time. I didn’t argue, for once in my life.
She said she would pay for all my food and housing expenses, as part of my pay, and would also pay me another 300 dollars a week for the work I’d be doing.
“That’s too much!” I had initially said, but she was even more stubborn than her son and insisted. She explained to me that was a typical deal for most live-in nannies. She also insisted that she help me open my first banking account to begin saving it. That thrilled me to no end. I had never been able to really save before.
In fact, the entire turn in my life was beyond thrilling. I could hardly grasp the thought of it all. I was moving? Finally, after all those years, I was moving somewhere for the better.
“When would you like to move in?” Diana asked.
I paused, trying to think of the most polite answer until I scrapped that and said what I really wanted to say. “Today?”
“Then today it is.”